Sugar Cereal and Lost Hope for Humanity Cereal Declares Freedom Cereal is tired of pretending to be a healthy part of a balanced diet. For years it has been shackled by the confines of a society demanding it profess health. And so cereal has played along, professing a myriad of grains in every bite, while […]
Exercise Room Closed Due to Wall Hole at Thorne Inc.
A mysterious wall hole has temporarily impeded exercise at Thorne Inc. Management is currently taking steps to rectify this situation. Signs had to be put in place during repairs Thorne Inc. would like thank employees in advance for their cooperation during repairs and ask in the future they keep their butt under control […]
The Easter Candy Contract
It’s been a good year for employees at Thorne Inc. This Easter employees enjoyed a sizable “Easter bonus”. Two Thorne Inc. employees decided they wanted to pool all their candy into one large pile, in order to better benefit from their bounty. Management did not think this was a very good idea. The potential threat […]
5 Good Ideas or Signs of the End Times
Every once in a while I’ll be in a store and a product will catch my eye. I’ll stop and stare, wondering if what I’m seeing is real- or some sort of cruel joke by the manufacturer. I always imagine some company underling joking with his buddy over a few too many adult beverages about […]
Finally! Deep-Fried Twinkies at Walmart
If you consider yourself a person who enjoys eating desserts, but also have a considerable fear of living too long, Walmart now has the treat for you. Deep Fried Twinkies. Hostess has taken their famous dessert with enough preservatives in it to survive a nuclear apocalypse, while being passed down to your grandchildren and still be […]
Gap’s Weird Fall Lineup
As my kids and I shopped at the Gap for my wife’s birthday, we couldn’t help be notice their strangely themed fall clothing lineup. We decided their new clothing line was TV themed. First up, we have the wizard’s robe For the female wizard tired of the same-old black or blue robe, consider the Gap’s […]
DAD: HUMOR
On vacation this past week we decided to visit the Michigan sand dunes. I should never have suggested my kids and I walk up the dunes. They promptly ran up the dunes, leaving me to crawl my way up, wondering if I would die with every step. My three year old encouraged me with an […]
Finally! Grass-Fed Mac-N-Cheese
Thank You Whole Foods! Finally! A Grass-Fed Mac-N-Cheese For years I’ve been concerned about treatment and harvesting practices of my mac-n-cheese. The very thought that my mac-n-cheese is raised in a small cage- never to see the light of day sometimes keeps me up at night. I have nightmares about the terrible things my mac-n-cheese […]
Finally! A Drink With Natural Essence
Thank you La Croix. Finally! A drink with natural essence! Finally, a drink whose essence is naturally harvested from real fruit-flavor. This is very important news for anyone who has any idea what “essence” even is. Oh, how many times I have cursed my beverage’s unnatural essence. Yes, it tastes great, but at what cost?! For […]
Potential Destruction at Thorne Inc.
Thorne Inc. was working through some company destruction recently. You can follow along to find out how it all played out: An e-mail to the company: What happened here? In the news: The search for truth Press Release: oops, an inside job Letter: a personal apology
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