MEMO: Use of Disguises Prohibited
It has come to our attention that some employees have recently begun to wear disguises within the company. Although at this point, we are unsure the exact purpose of the disguises, we are sure that they are unhelpful to the morale of the company. As, some employees have complained and find the disguises "unsettling", we felt it necessary to take action and prohibit all disguises within the company. We also have reason to believe that disguises could be used to procure extra benefit during the distribution of dinner desserts and the distribution of weekly earned monies. Therefore, please take note ...
Five Parenting Values Desperately Needed in Politics
As a parent, I’ve wanted to put politicians and political pundits in time-out many times over the past few months. I watched a video this morning where a popular t.v. pundit whined about how “those people” and “that party” were going to destroy the fabric of our nation. It made me angry but I couldn’t quite figure out why.
MEMO: Proposed Change in Bedtime
How do you know when it's time for bed during quarantine? Similar to all companies, Thorne Inc. is continuing to pivot during the quarantine. It has come to our attention that a new bedtime may be necessary to ensure the health, safety, and sanity of every Thorne Inc. employee. Therefore, we sent out the following memo. CHECK OUT A FEW OTHER THORNE INC. POSTS http://davidthorne.me/the-easter-candy-contract/ http://davidthorne.me/exercise-room-closed-due-to-wall-hole-at-thorne-inc/ TEXT OF THE MEMO To:All EmployeesFrom:CEO Date:March 30, 2016Re:PROPOSED CHANGE IN BED “TIME” Due to recent employee unrest during the workday, and in order to ensure employee safety, a new bedtime committee will be investigating alternate bedtime solutions. Presently ...
Things My Kids Say #4
I’ve continued collecting some of the things my kids say. Kids may drive us crazy sometimes, but there is no question they keep life interesting. For perspective: Caleb- Age 10 Logan- Age 7 Micah- Age 4 Dad- Hard to say Wife- Ageless 1. On the roof Logan, running inside: "Daddy, Caleb needs you." David: "Why" Logan: "Uh....because he's on the roof of the garage." David (only somewhat surprised): "Why is Caleb on the roof"? Logan: "He threw a frisbee on it and now he can't get down." 2. Cleveland Sympathy Caleb after visiting the Cleveland Orchestra: "I loved it! Did ...
Exercise Room Closed Due to Wall Hole at Thorne Inc.
A mysterious wall hole has temporarily impeded exercise at Thorne Inc. Management is currently taking steps to rectify this situation. A recent memo from management addressed mysterious hole situation directly. The Butt-shaped Hole Signs had to be put in place during repairs Signs to keep employees off exercise equipment during repairs Thorne Inc. would like thank employees in advance for their cooperation during repairs and ask in the future they keep their butt under control during all exercise.
The Easter Candy Contract
It's been a good year for employees at Thorne Inc. This Easter employees enjoyed a sizable "Easter bonus". Two Thorne Inc. employees decided they wanted to pool all their candy into one large pile, in order to better benefit from their bounty. Management did not think this was a very good idea. The potential threat of future employee conflict was too great. Soon sides were taken and a peaceful resolution seemed all but impossible. But, then something happened. All parties began etching out the framework of what would soon become known as, "The Easter Candy Contract". The paper went through ...
Thorne Inc. on Employee Creativity
Recently an employee of Thorne Inc. decided typical places to express creativity were not sufficient. So, the following memo had to be issued to all employees in hopes of deterring future inappropriate creative expression. Here's what caused the necessity of the memo to be written and distributed amongst employees: An important lesson was learned by all. Management learned to hide all permanent markers. Employees learned how to use a magic eraser. Soon, certain employees will also learn how to paint. To catch up on the story of "Thorne Inc." check out the following posts: http://davidthorne.me/what-is-thorne-inc-from-my-weird-family-to-yours-part-1-3/ http://davidthorne.me/what-is-thorne-inc-from-my-weird-family-to-yours-part-2/
When You’ve Known Your Kids Longer than You Knew Your Dad
Yesterday, I watched my two oldest children walk towards their last day in third and first grade. To them it was just another last day of school as they excitedly told me they were, "smart, talented, good-looking and loved," which they do every morning before scurrying off to school like squirrels chasing the wind. But, for me, this day was different. Yesterday was May 25th, the anniversary of the day my dad died in 1990. Although I'm vaguely aware of this date every year, it holds a special significance this time around. The reason being that, as of this morning, I've ...
Dear Christian, It’s OK to Pray for Patience
As a follower of Jesus there are many things I’m encouraged to pray for; my family, school, government, finances, marriage, kids, and also for qualities like strength, perseverance, and love. BUT, there is one thing many Christians think I should never pray for—patience. The story goes, a Christian should never pray for patience because God will then bring something difficult into their life requiring serious patience. For anyone who believes this, you may not realize it, but this theology is incredibly hurtful and inaccurate. I want you to know that you can, and should pray for patience. Now, maybe you’ve ...
DAD: HUMOR
On vacation this past week we decided to visit the Michigan sand dunes. I should never have suggested my kids and I walk up the dunes. They promptly ran up the dunes, leaving me to crawl my way up, wondering if I would die with every step. My three year old encouraged me with an occasional, "Go horsey," and "Yee-ha!"